Book Review: The Father Effect by John Finch with Blake Atwood

Ephesians 4:32

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you. 

Publishers Description

A wonderful hope filled book!

Based on the feature film of the same name, THE FATHER EFFECT is a must-read for the millions of men and women who have lost their fathers through divorce, death, or disinterest.

John Finch always struggled after his father committed suicide when he was eleven, but it wasn't until he was raising his own three daughters that he truly understood their futures relied on his coming to terms with his difficult past. To move forward, he needed to forgive both his father for choosing to leave, and himself for not being the best father he could be.

This journey led to THE FATHER EFFECT, a book containing practical help for anyone, man or woman, with a deep father wound from losing a dad through divorce, death, or disinterest. Through positive lessons on forgiveness and approachable advice on how to change your legacy as a parent, partner, and person, THE FATHER EFFECT is the ultimate healing tool for anyone who has suffered the absence of a dad.

My Personal Review

The Father Effect by John Finch with Blake Atwood is a beautiful transparent work filled with hope and healing for those who find themselves living with the wounds created from a fatherless home. John Finch writes with a great deal of candor and vulnerability as he reveals the story of his life beginning in his early years with his father's suicide and continuing to current day where he now makes it his life ambition to provide guidance to those who have experienced a "father wound."

The Father Effect has received much praise from the fields of Christianity and psychology. The work expounds upon the author's life, drawing from first hand experiences regarding the  extreme emotional wounds that were created from his father's absence. The beauty of the book is the way in which John Finch uses his journey of distress and suffering to explore potential areas of similar hurts within the reader. Not only does Finch assist in uncovering your pain from a missing Dad, but he takes it a few steps farther as he gives sound advice on how to deal with the reader's personal injuries through the application of forgiveness. 

John Finch redirects frequently to remind those with a history of  a missing father, that their heavenly Father is the perfect role model. The book is consistently reassuring the reader that Jesus Christ holds the key to powerful regeneration. Mr. Finch gives very specific suggestions on how to break the cycle of feeling rejected. His encouragement that it is possible to change one's life legacy from a continual sense of alienation and abandonment to an accomplished life with amazing relationships is believable, since he has gone through similar situations and come out on the other side with health. Finch warns, however, that without change, the fatherless will almost certainly find themselves in a cycle of serious depression.

I loved that this book compassionately discusses depression and addresses the misinformed attitude of many people who act as though the depressed person can "will or hope their way out of depression." Finch describes it this way, stating, "Trying to free yourself from depression is like building a ladder out of toothpicks when you're stuck at the bottom of a hundred-mile-deep hole. No matter what you do, the hopelessness of your situation only worsens." This analogy speaks of a complexity of understanding beyond what could be contrived from someone who has not suffered with depression. How refreshing it is to see a courageous author in the Christian world give validity to the real illness of depression, and attempt to provide tools to help eradicate it.  

After reading, The Father Effect, I have a greater empathy for the people in this world who are suffering from a missing father in their lives. I now comprehend that those affected by a missing Dad, might be men or women. The message is very clear from this book, however, that you do not need to be the victim. You can, and in fact must, if you want to have an abundant life that the Lord intended for you, step out in faith and forgiveness to break the chains of helplessness and hopelessness. This debut novel provides an avenue of confident expectation and concrete direction for an audience of lost and hurting people. Throughout the pages, John Finch educates, encourages, and equips men and women to make a daily choice to fulfill the roles that the Lord has placed before them. It is an essential read for anyone who loves the Lord and is suffering in silence due to a missing father. The Father Effect is also for anyone who would like to grasp a greater knowledge of what this population is experiencing, so that they may then reach out in love to help them renew their life.

Thank you to FaithWords Publishing for this review copy of The Father Effect by John Finch and Blake Atwood. I was not required to give a positive review, but only asked to give an honest review of my assessment of the book. 

Book Review: Choose Joy: Finding Hope and Purpose When Life Hurts by Sara Frankl & Mary Carver

 Habakkuk 3:18 was Sara's life verse.
"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
-Dolly Parton"

Habakkuk 3:17-19(MSG)

Though the cherry trees don't blossom and the strawberries don't ripen, 

Though the apples are worm-eaten and the wheat fields stunted, Though the sheep pens are sheepless and the cattle barns empty, 

I'm singing joyful praise to God. I'm turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God. 

Counting on God's rule to prevail, I take heart and gain strength. I run like a deer. I feel like I'm king of the mountain!

"Sara's story only grew louder, braver, bolder with her death. It's a story that we all need to keep hearing." --Lisa-Jo Baker, bestselling author of Surprised by Motherhood

Sara Frankl knew she had a terminal disease, but she didn't let it stop her from living. In the face of immeasurable pain, Sara chose joy--again and again. Her unforgettable message of hope and purpose lives on, even after her death, in her words.

CHOOSE JOY is a compilation of the lessons Sara learned while she was dying, written in her own words and sewn together by her close friend Mary Carver. It is a reminder to see the beauty in life, even when it looks nothing like you hoped or planned.

In a world full of tragedy, choosing joy is no small task--but, as Sara knew, the importance lies in the choosing. Once you learn to make that choice, every day, no matter what happens, joy will come.

My Personal Review:

Choose Joy: Finding Hope and Purpose When Life Hurts by Sara Frankl and Mary Carver is a tender love story between Sara & God, whereby she allows the reader to peek into her world of chronic illness. Her clearly communicated message of  hope that life is really a precious gift from God, no matter what circumstances you find yourself in, is one of encouragement and immeasurable faith!

Choose Joy: Finding Hope and Purpose When Life Hurts by Sara Frankl and Mary Carver is a newly released candid writing filled with inspiring advice that will not only make you "feel" joyful, but will actually teach you how to choose joy even if your plans don't line up with what the Lord has assigned for your life. The book is presented as a series of blog posts from the deceased Sara Frankl and narrated by Mary Carver. 

Where do I begin with this book? First off, I had no prior knowledge or connections with either of these writer's blogs. I simply chose this book for it's title, because I want to "choose joy" in my life. I mean who doesn't want that, right? However, this quickly became more than just "another book" for me. It's depth and stripped down simplicity for all things pertaining to the true meaning of a well lived life are present in every single chapter.

Liz Curtis Higgs, New York Times bestselling author writes on the back cover, "This isn't a story about dying. It's a story about living." I would have to disagree with part of that. I think this is a story about living and dying. The book is pertinent for all of us, but I would quickly hand this book to anyone with a terminal illness, as Sara's walk through the valley of death could be very comforting to another who is in the same situation. 

Her contagious trust in a loving God and her ability to express it in an encouraging manner are incredible! She brings an authenticity that only someone actually enduring such suffering and one having been given the finality of a death sentence could manage. Those of us who have never experienced this kind of life altering illness can talk about how we would respond, but until we are living it, we don't know. Sara knew. This book transparently reveals her choice to stand firm in her conviction that God is a loving God and that He only does good. She doesn't throw out cliche' phrases, but instead provides a blueprint on how she chose joy...and how we can too. That is what makes this book so unique.

Sara shares that life is a series of moments. We need to make a conscious effort to be completely present in those moments with attentive intention, so that we don't miss a single opportunity that God has for us. Her statement that, "It's not easy, but it is simple," sounds like an oxymoron, but in fact is a profound thought that Sara applied to her everyday life and it served to fuel her fire to continually apply joy in every situation. Sara believed deeply that there was a purpose for her illness and she wanted to be sure she didn't miss the assignment God had given her by wishing for a different one.

Mary Carver flawlessly utilizes her talented writing skills to connect each of Sara's blog posts throughout the book. This gives the reader insight into what was happening in Sara's life at the time of the different entries. Mary helps to give perspective into Sara's emotional, physical, and spiritual state and therefore provides even further dimension to Sara's story.

The only regret I have in reading Choose Joy by Sara Frankl and Mary Carver is that I never got to meet Sara. I'm pretty sure, however, that if she were sitting here and heard me say that, Sara would laugh and inform me that God had another plan for our meeting and the timing of that introduction wasn't to be on this side of heaven. In honor of Sara and her life mission, Sara's blog (click here to go to blog) continues and there is a link to the "Choose Joy Sara Gitz Frankl Memorial Foundation" (click here) that clearly identifies the importance of spreading joy through the love of Christ to all who will listen. It is also a place for community, which was one of Sara's many passions. 

I will leave you with Sara's "favorite all-time quote" by Victor Hugo: 
"Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones.
And when you have finished your daily task, got to sleep in peace. God is awake."

Thank you to FaithWords, a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc for this review copy of Choose Joy by Sara Frankl and Mary Carver. The opinions within this review are strictly my own. I was not required to write a favorable review, but only to read this book in it's entirety in exchange for honest feedback.

Seasons~Days~Years

Psalm 119:66(MSG)  Train me in good common sense;  I'm thoroughly committed to living Your way.



What season of life are you in?

Oh my goodness!  What a beautiful day in the Ozarks, both from a weather standpoint and from a worship point of view.  It's been simply incredible!  The outside temperature is a breezy 78 degrees with slightly cloudy skies and gently chirping birds in the background.  If I didn't know that it was the middle of August, I would certainly think it was October. 

More importantly, however, was the contagious atmosphere inside the sanctuary of God this morning, where a message of hope found in Christ reached the chaos of our hearts!  This has become a weekly occurrence from the preaching team at our church and unless I'm confused, it should be an experience happening in all Gospel preaching churches throughout the globe!  Why?  Because the Word of God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow and it is most certainly a life giving force!

Today, that Word was delivered by Pastor Robert Madu.  It was clear, concise, and received with complete joy to the gathering of believers!!  We laughed.  We cried.  We prayed.  We worshipped the King of Kings!  Can I get an "Amen?!" 

Pastor Madu had a lot to say about "God's Word power" and a clear message for us to quit trying to do life with our "will power"!  He eloquently reminded each one of us that we need the Word of God in our lives to understand and respond appropriately to the season of life that we are currently in.  If we will remain responsive to His Words and aware of the season of our life we are going through, then our days will be good and our years will be fruitful for the Lord!

You will be able to access his message at JRAG (click) within a day by simply scrolling over and then clicking the "message and resources"  tab on the website, followed by a search for his name and today's date.  If you are able to set aside 30 minutes to listen to his encouraging words, you will most certainly be refreshed and rejuvenated and thoroughly committed to living His way", as today's verse directs!  Seriously good stuff!!

Dear Almighty God,
Refresh and renew our hearts today and give us the common sense to remain in Your Word and to dedicate our lives to living through Your "Word power" instead of our willpower.  Please continue to bless Your message through Pastor Robert Madu.
In Jesus Name,
Amen

There Is No Water

Psalm 119:27(MSG)Help me understand these things inside and out so I can ponder your miracle-wonders.
Snuggled deep beneath the layers of blankets, I squirmed a little closer toward the bottom of the bed in an effort to shield my eyes from the light that was spewing out from underneath the bathroom door.  It was a day off for me and I intended to make every second of slumber count.  No frenzied wake up call, no breakfast to hurriedly prepare, no shoes to find, no planners to sign, just a lazy morning after a late awakening.  Or so, that was the plan. 

My husband was up early; 5:30am to be exact.  Unfortunately, this was not a day off for him.  He is normally quite considerate of my "sleep in" days, but not this day.  He went into the the other room in his usual manner, but when he came out, he said, in a rather loud voice, "We don't have any water!!"  I sat up in a dazed and disoriented state and responded, "What do you mean, 'We don't have any water?'"  He repeated, "We don't have any water!"  I said, "What?  How's that possible?  Do you mean we don't have any water coming out of the shower?  Is the pipe frozen again"  "No," he said,  "We don't have ANY water!"  It was comically reminiscent of one of the "Three Stooges" routines from days gone by where they would talk about the names of the baseball players until everyone involved was thrown into a state of confusion.  Do you remember it?  In a conversation between the men, they would say something like..."Who's on first?  No.  Who's on second.  No.  What's on second...Who's on first."  It would go on and on like this until one of the stooges got mad!

Anyway, once my sleepy brain grasped what he was saying, I jumped up and we both went running for the basement.  At that point, we each had enough cells firing in our gray matter, that we realized perhaps there was a broken water pipe downstairs. He ran to the hot water heater, as I bolted off to the washing machine.  We gratefully found  no ankle deep liquid about our feet. Phew. 

But, wait!!  In years past we had a pipe out in the yard break underground.  It formed a small stream running through our backyard.  Maybe that was it?  We threw open the door to the front yard and passed the flashlight over the ground. Nothing. We spun around to repeat the task in the back yard. Nope.  Again, nothing.  If there wasn't a broken line somewhere within our home, then what in the world was going on?   

To confirm our findings, my husband, sporting a robe and slippers I might add, walked out to the water meter in the dark to check the dial on the water usage moniter.  It was sitting still, allowing us to realize that the water problem was not internal, but instead somewhere beyond our house.  Phew!!  No water pipes busted.  NO money down the drain...quite literally...chuckle. 

But...huh?  Why don't we have water?  We proceeded to call the city utilities company and inform them of our dilemma.  As we waited on the line for an answer to our perplexing problem, my mind went racing off to the "emergency kit" that we were supposed to have prepared for the time when we might need a three or four day supply.  I quickly started counting up the water bottles we had available in the fridge....there were four.  OK...we could last the morning.  Nice preparation.  It was eerily similar to the day when the power went out because of the ice storm in 2007.  When the C.U. operator came back on the line, she informed us that all of the southwest side of town had been calling in with the same report.

It's not good to be without water.  I take so much for granted in my nice warm in the winter, cool in the summer, dry house that is free from bugs, spiders (well almost free of them thanks to spider traps), and dirt.  The ability to walk over to a sink and turn on crystal clear drinking water whenever I feel a little thirsty is not a luxury to be dismissed as easily as I do.  Embarrassingly, I even complain about having to drink eight glasses of water a day.  Sigh....
It is with great humiliation that I admit these things and ask the Lord (as the verse says today) to "help me understand" these blessings, so I can give God all of the glory for the wondrous miracles that I take for granted every day!  The blessing of water is just one of the many gifts that I busily brush by on a daily basis. 

It turned out, in our case that a water main along the highway had broken and the crews were out fixing it.  They had it repaired within hours, so my four bottles of water lasted the few hours that I needed them to.  Yay!  But something else lasted within my heart for the entire week.  It was the sense that there are people who don't have any water to drink.  In fact people are dying everyday because of it. 

Sitting on our parking lot at church Sunday.

Not surprising to me, because this is how the Lord works in my life (remember there are no "coincidences" in life), when I arrived at church on Sunday morning there was a "Water Drilling Rig" in our church parking lot.  There was also a video on the precious lives being lost in northern Kenya hourly due to their inability to get water!  Our pastor challenged us to help.  We are partnering with WorldServe International to take Water Drilling Rigs to Kenya and drill life giving water wells.  It costs money.  I can't go to Kenya at this juncture in my life, but surely I can help.  Uniquely, right now, our church has the opportunity to give money and whatever we give will be matched dollar for dollar by another donor.  What an opportunity!  (Click here if you would like more information about this mission outreach.)
I don't think this would have meant as much to me had we not experienced our brief little period without water this last week, but as the Lord is so kind to do, He softens and prepares our hearts for exactly what He has in store for us.  The Lord helped me to understand that I am so blessed to live in a land where water flows plentifully.  It is most certainly one of His "miracle wonders" and I want to do all I can to help others obtain this life giving resource.

Father,
So many times I actually miss Your hand in my life.  Forgive me for my insensitivity to Your blessings and help me to be more aware of the goodness that surrounds me.  I am asking for a great harvest of wells to be placed in the dry areas of Kenya.  May You protect and give the life saving water that is so needed in this parched land.
In the thirst quenching name of Jesus,
Amen   

Just Dirt

Psalm 119:25(NKJV)
My soul clings to the dust; Revive me according to Your word.

I saw a bill board today and here is what it said:  I know God recycles, because He created us from dust.

We're just dirt without Him!

What a great thought!  We did come from dust! We came from dust and God's breath of life.
 
Genesis 2:7 (NKJV) 
And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life;  and man became a living being.

Today's verse is a reminder that my life is so dependent  upon Him.  Without the breath of the Lord within me, I am...well...just dirt.  Plain and simple.

However, there's good news in this verse!  He gives me a chance to be revived.  According to His promises that He provides throughout His word, I can live an abundant life.  A life that is aglow with His glory.  A life that is purposeful and has deep meaning. 

Here is the Message translation:
Psalm 119:25(MSG)
I'm feeling terrible--I couldn't feel worse!  Get me on my feet again.  You promised, remember?

God's word is true!  His faithful words are our stepping stones to a successful existence on planet earth and forever after.  Keep those steps going...and do not ever quit, because as long as you have the breath of His life within you, you still have an assignment to finish! 

Father,
Thank you for breathing Your breath of life into us.  Encourage us today to keep moving forward in a walk that is full of Your kingdom purposes. 
In the name of Jesus,
Amen

Keep My Commandments

Proverbs 4:4 (ESV)
he taught me and said to me, "let your heart hold fast my words;  keep my commandments, and live.

Pretty clear direction....